Creating Sanctuary

The annual Philadelphia Flower Show is in full bloom. It is being held outside again, as it was last year when it moved to FDR Park in South Philadelphia because of the COVID pandemic. I won’t be there this year but if the video and photos I’ve seen are any indication it will be a fantastic visit for all.

Over the years I have had the opportunity to attend and it was always memorable. One year, in particular stands out. This was 2019, a little more than one year after my mother had passed away. After nine years of being her caregiver as she battled significant physical challenges as well as growing dementia, I was tired and still trying to regain my life. Some days were so difficult, as anyone who has been a caregiver for an elderly parent or sibling or other vulnerable person can understand.

Gardening has been a passion of mine since I was a young girl and was an instrumental part of my coping with my caregiving responsibilities. I could head to the garden and lose myself in the hours spent planting, weeding, watering and eating. Eating? Yes. There were yummy tomatoes and peppers growing alongside the melons.

 

So it has been no surprise to see an increased interest in the role that gardening can have in positively impacting mental health. Stories and statistics abound on social media, for example. It’s not a new concept but certainly gained more traction in the days of COVID when people’s anxiety increased.

But back in June, 2019 I was personally impacted. One morning I awoke and said, I’m heading into center city Philadelphia to go to the Flower Show. After a quick walk to the train station and a short ride into the city, I arrived. As expected, it was beautiful and the displays were amazing. It was very calming and I felt myself feeling less anxious as I walked around.

Then I saw that there was an author presentation and book signing for a recently released book titled Creating Sanctuary. It was a subject calling my name. I took my place in the audience as author and holistic garden expert, Jessi Bloom, began her talk. It didn’t take long before I knew fate brought me to this location at this time.

She spoke of creating sacred space in the garden, using the powerful gifts of the land to find contentment and well-being. She spoke of plants and their healing qualities and offered proven self-care routines she used to create a “personal oasis of rejuvenation.” I felt like she was speaking only to me and not the large audience. It changed my day and in some ways, my life.

I purchased the book and stood in line for her to sign it, and when it was my turn, I told her about my mother’s passing and thanked her for her words that day that helped me. I don’t think I could adequately convey to her how much she’d helped, but perhaps she knew already how her words and writing could impact someone with joy. I hope so.

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[Creating Sanctuary is published by Timber Press 

and is available online at booksellers and at Timberpress.com]

Welcome Spring!

It's the first full day of Spring, 2022 and we - my pup Lily and I - couldn't be happier about it. For Lily it means longer walks in the park and for me it's time to prepare for gardening. I don't have much room but just having a small space works well.

Today is sunny and warm, with temperatures to reach mid- to upper 60's. That might seem not so warm for some places but only ten days ago we had a slushy, icy, snowy storm.  And four years ago on this date, Mother Nature surprised us with about six inches of snow! 

 Happy Spring. May this season bring peace to all.

 

 

 

 

Relaxing with Rosemary and Thyme

Every Friday night, after spending the day working on my business tasks and, at the same time, caring for my elderly mother, I poured myself a glass of wine and turned on the TV. As soon as I heard the first strains of the show’s music, produced and performed by the famous John Williams, I could feel the stresses of the day decrease. I love this BBC show, Rosemary and Thyme, and even now, several years after my mother has passed away, when I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious or just in need of some lighthearted entertainment, I will find it on YouTube and watch episodes.

Rosemary and Thyme is the story of two talented and accomplished women who come together after life challenges to create a sophisticated garden and landscape design company. Rosemary Boxer, the garden expert, had just been unexpectedly let go from her professorial post, and Laura Thyme, a former police officer, had watched as her husband of many years left her for a younger woman.

I first started watching the show because of the gardening aspects and also because I love a great British show. Add to that, this is a cozy mystery thriller and that’s a favorite genre of mine.

Caregiving is so often challenging and tiring, and can feel like running on a never-ending treadmill, and caregivers need a way to decompress and revive their energy. For me, this TV show fit that bill and I urge all caregivers to find one that does the same for them.

What's a Grandmom to Eat?

What’s a grandmom to eat? 

Older folks need to eat well, with all the best foods to meet their personal dietary or medical needs. But that can be difficult for a caregiver to achieve, for many reasons.   There are often financial constraints, or there isn't anyone to prepare food that might require stove top preparation that could present dangerous situations. Then there's the fact that we don't have the proper information about how to choose the right foods.

Luckily for all caregivers, the information today that is available is far better and more available than it was even a few years ago when I began my caregiving responsibilities.

As my mother’s caregiver, I prepared meals for her that included a variety of healthy foods. Even as she ate less as her health declined, though, she didn’t lose her sweet tooth. She could eat a pint of ice cream faster than I ever have and if there was cake or pie around she’d gladly indulge.   

So what, as caregivers, is your approach to nourishing the people you care for?And what kind of information or assistance would help you achieve the best results?

Six Years: Where Did The Time Go?

Six years. I couldn’t believe it when I opened my Pink Power Slippers blog and saw the date on the last post. How could six years have gone by and I didn’t think to add a blog post in all of that time. I knew the answer. Because during that time I was the primary caregiver for my elderly mom, taking care of her and her many needs as her health deteriorated. The physical infirmities were significant, compounded by the mental health issues from the dementia taking over her life.  The physical and mental took their toll and her body succumbed in 2017. 

The several years that have followed since then have often been difficult, and one year was perhaps the most challenging I have ever experienced in my 63 years on earth. I took to the internet to research caregiving issues and felt somewhat better when I saw there was something called “Caregiver Stress Syndrome” and it wasn’t uncommon among people like me.

Like me. One person taking care of an elderly parent supported by some home care resources, nursing home medical staff, outside doctors and even “senior care” specialists wearing many hats. And good friends and family.

Not unlike me, however, were the many caregivers in similar situations who found themselves mostly alone to deal with the complicated issues of financing that accompanied the myriad of medical issues. 

So I have decided I’d like to help caregivers who find themselves caring for an elderly parent or spouse, or perhaps a child or sibling, by sharing my personal experiences and identifying the growing number of resources available to help.

And I’m going to do it wearing my PINK POWER SLIPPERS! If you read the first entry of this blog, you’ll find the story of the slippers, which were purchased in a bin at the local grocery story. At that time I was part of a caregiving team for a good friend who was battling brain tumors. Tough day? Wear the slippers and feel powerful. Scary medical time? Wear the slippers and find some confidence. Need to laugh? Yes, wear the slippers. Certainly not empirical evidence that they worked, but hey, I believed they worked! 

Doesn’t every caregiver need a pair of pink power slippers? Stay tuned!